Mesothelioma Pleads
Guilty!
Unexpected plea indites White House, Asbestos.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a shocking turn
of events, Mesothelioma today pleaded guilty on all charges
brought before the Supreme Court, ending years of a
bottlenecked court system and sagging economy.
This surprise plea came after the prosecution presented
staggering evidence of a direct connection between
Mesothelioma and the death of millions world wide. The
quick spreading cancer responded in tears, crying,
“think of the children...the children,” leaving
all present confused.
In a desperate attempt to gain sympathy, Mesothelioma tried
to play off the nostalgia of Baby Boomers who grew up in
the bosom of the cancer’s main puppet - asbestos.
“Don’t you remember the joy I gave you from my
asbestos candy, my asbestos clothing, and my asbestos
blended tobacco?”
The High Court was unmoved.
When The Cancer realized its position - backed into a
corner with no way out - it finally entered a plea of
“guilty, but I ain’t goin’ down by
myself.” Mesothelioma went on to claim that the White
House aided the cancer’s proliferation from the time
of “Little Tricky Dick” Nixon, to the current
administration’s regime of “Big Dick”
Cheney. The cancer had already pointed a finger at
asbestos, but another surprise came when it claimed that
“Vioxx was supposed to work for me. I developed it to
ease the pain of chemo patients, then kill them. It went
rogue, and ran to Merck. That back-stabbing bastard is
commin’ down with me.”
The Supreme Court made its first ever ruling for imedate
Capital Punishment. Mesothelioma is set to be exicuted as
soon as scientests find a means.
The White House, Asbestos, and Vioxx have not yet responded
to these allegations.
See also the Antihubris.com Asbestos &
Mesothelioma Resource Center.
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