Mesothelioma Pleads
Guilty!
Unexpected plea indites White House, Asbestos.
WASHINGTON,
D.C. - In a shocking turn of events,
Mesothelioma today pleaded guilty on all charges brought
before the Supreme Court, ending years of a bottlenecked
court system and sagging economy.
This surprise plea came after the prosecution presented
staggering evidence of a direct connection between
Mesothelioma and the death of millions world wide. The
quick spreading cancer responded in tears, crying,
“think of the children...the children,”
leaving all present confused.
In a desperate attempt to gain sympathy, Mesothelioma
tried to play off the nostalgia of Baby Boomers who grew
up in the bosom of the cancer’s main puppet -
asbestos.
“Don’t you remember the joy I gave you from
my asbestos candy, my asbestos clothing, and my asbestos
blended tobacco?”
The High Court was unmoved.
When The Cancer realized its position - backed into a
corner with no way out - it finally entered a plea of
“guilty, but I ain’t goin’ down by
myself.” Mesothelioma went on to claim that the
White House aided the cancer’s proliferation from
the time of “Little Tricky Dick” Nixon, to
the current administration’s regime of “Big
Dick” Cheney. The cancer had already pointed a
finger at asbestos, but another surprise came when it
claimed that “Vioxx was supposed to work for me. I
developed it to ease the pain of chemo patients, then
kill them. It went rogue, and ran to Merck. That
back-stabbing bastard is commin’ down with
me.”
The Supreme Court made its first ever ruling for imedate
Capital Punishment. Mesothelioma is set to be exicuted as
soon as scientests find a means.
The White House, Asbestos, and Vioxx have not yet
responded to these allegations.
See also the Antihubris.com Asbestos &
Mesothelioma Resource Center.
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